sometimes life is hard to understand

I know that I have talked about this way too much, so much so that some people are probably sick of hearing it, and (to be honest) I'm sick of saying it. But it's still true and it is still something that I am struggling with.
I will tell you right now that I am blessed. I have a home, a job, 2 great churches, I am surrounded by family and friends, and the friends I can't see all the time I can still easily talk to. But while knowing that I am blessed I still long for more. I never thought that I would be where I am right now at this point in my life and it is so easy to think of nothing but what I am missing, what my heart desires and breaks for, and to wonder why on earth I don't have it. I am not forgotten and God still has a plan for my life, but what is His plan for my life right now? what am I supposed to be doing now? will the next thing just happen in front of me or is there something I should be doing for it? If He doesn't want for me to have what I want then why do I still want it? What's the point in desiring something I can't have? If He does what me to have it now then why is it so hard?
I heard today that your focus affects your attitude. I totally agree with that but what do you do if it feels like there is nothing good to focus on?
ok, that was my ramble. and now it's time for truth:
God remembers the weary and the broken hearted. He remembers every tear and holds it in His hand. "I will never leave you or forsake you" "I know the plans I have for you" (Jer. 29:11), "I have summoned you by name; YOU ARE MINE" (read all of Isaiah 43)
And then there are stories in the Bible of God's CRAZY timing: Abraham longing for a son, Hannah longing for a son and to know the love of her husband, Jacob longing and waiting of 14 years for the joy of his true love Rachael, and Simeon waiting for years to see the Messiah. Why on earth did God wait so long to give them what they wanted? It was all part of His timing, and it worked!! Why did He allow them to want something so bad that they couldn't have for so long? I don't know for sure but I do know this: when we want something really bad, you never loose focus, you are always waiting, watching, and trying, and as long as you are focused you will never loose sight of what you want. The problem comes when we forget that there should be 2 focuses: God and our desires (yes, in that order). If God at any point tells you to forget about it than forget about it, He has something MUCH greater in store for you. But if God tells you to keep going, and keep waiting than keep on! But don't loose sight of Him in the process. Look at Abraham and Sarah. They wanted a son, and God told them that they would have a son, but He also said to wait. Wait for what? they didn't know but they needed to wait, and they didn't; they took matters into their own hands and that's how you have Isaac and Ishmael, modern day Israel and Palestine. not what God intended, but what happens when we take God sized issues into our own hands.
don't worry, believe it or not, it will be ok. God has not forgotten you and you are His. Wait on Him, it will be ok.