I know that I have talked about this way too much, so much so that some people are probably sick of hearing it, and (to be honest) I'm sick of saying it. But it's still true and it is still something that I am struggling with.
I will tell you right now that I am blessed. I have a home, a job, 2 great churches, I am surrounded by family and friends, and the friends I can't see all the time I can still easily talk to. But while knowing that I am blessed I still long for more. I never thought that I would be where I am right now at this point in my life and it is so easy to think of nothing but what I am missing, what my heart desires and breaks for, and to wonder why on earth I don't have it. I am not forgotten and God still has a plan for my life, but what is His plan for my life right now? what am I supposed to be doing now? will the next thing just happen in front of me or is there something I should be doing for it? If He doesn't want for me to have what I want then why do I still want it? What's the point in desiring something I can't have? If He does what me to have it now then why is it so hard?
I heard today that your focus affects your attitude. I totally agree with that but what do you do if it feels like there is nothing good to focus on?
ok, that was my ramble. and now it's time for truth:
God remembers the weary and the broken hearted. He remembers every tear and holds it in His hand. "I will never leave you or forsake you" "I know the plans I have for you" (Jer. 29:11), "I have summoned you by name; YOU ARE MINE" (read all of Isaiah 43)
And then there are stories in the Bible of God's CRAZY timing: Abraham longing for a son, Hannah longing for a son and to know the love of her husband, Jacob longing and waiting of 14 years for the joy of his true love Rachael, and Simeon waiting for years to see the Messiah. Why on earth did God wait so long to give them what they wanted? It was all part of His timing, and it worked!! Why did He allow them to want something so bad that they couldn't have for so long? I don't know for sure but I do know this: when we want something really bad, you never loose focus, you are always waiting, watching, and trying, and as long as you are focused you will never loose sight of what you want. The problem comes when we forget that there should be 2 focuses: God and our desires (yes, in that order). If God at any point tells you to forget about it than forget about it, He has something MUCH greater in store for you. But if God tells you to keep going, and keep waiting than keep on! But don't loose sight of Him in the process. Look at Abraham and Sarah. They wanted a son, and God told them that they would have a son, but He also said to wait. Wait for what? they didn't know but they needed to wait, and they didn't; they took matters into their own hands and that's how you have Isaac and Ishmael, modern day Israel and Palestine. not what God intended, but what happens when we take God sized issues into our own hands.
don't worry, believe it or not, it will be ok. God has not forgotten you and you are His. Wait on Him, it will be ok.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I've often struggled with the idea of fearing God while loving Him at the same time; How do you fear someone while loving him? I love my Dad, but I never felt like I loved him when he spanked me growing up.
Then one day I realized that the idea of loving God while fearing Him is about as complex as a God who is all loving and all just at the same time; and as complex as the concept of of calling God Abba Father.
Abba Father, two separate words with 2 different meanings for the same person. Abba: Daddy, one of the sweetest names ever spoken; Father: still the name of a Dad and yet so much more formal. Just imagine a little girl at a park with he Dad and she has just fallen and hurt herself, who does she call for? Daddy. No imagine that same girl about to get punished for something she has just done; what does she call her Dad then? Father. How do you get so close to God that you can call Him Daddy, and yet still call Him Father at the same time?
I think that people focus way too much on one aspect of God over another (and I am one of these people) how many christian songs have your herd recently about God's wrath? What about songs on God's love? yeah, my point exactly. Most people you talk to will either focus on hell fire and brimstone and God's wrath, or God's great love that covers over all sins. why can't we see both at the same time?
People always say that God sent Jesus to die on the cross because He loved us so much. I agree with that but I think that it is only half of the story. If God only fully loved us than He would just wink at us and let us all into to heaven a long with all our sins, but if God were only fully just than he would have thrown us all into hell a long time ago. Neither one of those pictures need Jesus dieing on a cross. God hates sin, he can't stand the site of it and there is no way it could be in His presence for all of eternity; that's His justness. But God Loves us so much that He can't stand the thought of spending eternity without us; that's His love. Because God loves us sooooo much and yet hates sin sooooo much He sent Jesus to us; THAT is why the Son of God died on a cross, He was taking all of our sin and casting it out of site so that we could be with Him for all eternity.
To ignore God's love is to spit in Jesus' face and to ignore God's justness is to do the same.
May we never forget.
Then one day I realized that the idea of loving God while fearing Him is about as complex as a God who is all loving and all just at the same time; and as complex as the concept of of calling God Abba Father.
Abba Father, two separate words with 2 different meanings for the same person. Abba: Daddy, one of the sweetest names ever spoken; Father: still the name of a Dad and yet so much more formal. Just imagine a little girl at a park with he Dad and she has just fallen and hurt herself, who does she call for? Daddy. No imagine that same girl about to get punished for something she has just done; what does she call her Dad then? Father. How do you get so close to God that you can call Him Daddy, and yet still call Him Father at the same time?
I think that people focus way too much on one aspect of God over another (and I am one of these people) how many christian songs have your herd recently about God's wrath? What about songs on God's love? yeah, my point exactly. Most people you talk to will either focus on hell fire and brimstone and God's wrath, or God's great love that covers over all sins. why can't we see both at the same time?
People always say that God sent Jesus to die on the cross because He loved us so much. I agree with that but I think that it is only half of the story. If God only fully loved us than He would just wink at us and let us all into to heaven a long with all our sins, but if God were only fully just than he would have thrown us all into hell a long time ago. Neither one of those pictures need Jesus dieing on a cross. God hates sin, he can't stand the site of it and there is no way it could be in His presence for all of eternity; that's His justness. But God Loves us so much that He can't stand the thought of spending eternity without us; that's His love. Because God loves us sooooo much and yet hates sin sooooo much He sent Jesus to us; THAT is why the Son of God died on a cross, He was taking all of our sin and casting it out of site so that we could be with Him for all eternity.
To ignore God's love is to spit in Jesus' face and to ignore God's justness is to do the same.
May we never forget.
Monday, January 26, 2009
the Blood of Christ shed
When I was first thinking about starting this blog there were a lot of stories running through my mind that I would want to tell people, and most of them still haven't gone much farther than my journal. But this is one that I was reminded of the other day and I just felt it fitting to share now.
Last year I was one of the college student leaders at my church in college and as such I got to help with Communion services (among other things of course). I held the cup and with each person that came I would say "The blood of Christ shed for you";
to every person who came.
People I loved
people I couldn't seem to stand
people who seemed like they would rub me the wrong way
people who seemed really cool
people I had never seen before and would never see again this side of heaven
everyone, The blood of Christ shed for you
Chris danced while waiting his turn
Patrick looked at me the wrong way
one guy took gum out of his mouth and then put it back in after chewing on the bread a minute
One girl just stood there, almost like she was waiting for me to give instructions
most peple didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but as I looked into their eyes I knew they all had a story
people would look me right in the eye while I smiled and would smile right back, with real smiles; two guys I had never seen before and who didn't really seem to fit into the overall picture of this service gave me 2 of the most sincere smiles I have ever seen.
The blood of Christ shed for you
Everyone in that service was completely different, and that's the way it should be. Why think that all Christians should fit into one certain mold? God can't be put into a box (as soon as you think you've got God figured out you've completely misses Him), how could we (who were made in His own image) be put into a box?
The blood of Christ shed for you, no matter who you are
It is said that the church (God's body, not the building) is meant to comfort the uncomfortable and to make uncomfortable those who are comfortable. I've always agreed with that statement but I had never really thought about how they both can be true for the same person at the same time; until today.
I have had the great honor and blessing to know people who I am nothing like at all, and yet they make me feel so at home. How can people be so different and have such big differences in ideas and beliefs and yet still love each other? because they've learned what the most important thing is in life, their relationship to God and their relationship to others through God. Knowing that you have at least that in common can break down all barriers, all that other stuff is what God is teaching YOU He doesn't teach all your friends the same thing at the same time.
I believe that it is possible (and should happen) for you to feel at home with people you have nothing in common with except for your love and devotion to God.
I love being in a community filled with different people who love and accept each other FOR (not in spit of ) their differences; it's comforting. But it's also uncomfortable because everyone obviously has their own view of things and eveyone thinks that they are right. It takes knowledge and wisdom to know what you believe and why and to be able to stand up for those beliefs while still showing love to those who see things differently than you. It also takes courage (especially for someone like me who doesn't like conflict) to be able to talk with people who have their own ideas; to really see why they think what they think and why you think what you think.
No matter who we are
what we look like
what side we take on issues
the blood of Christ shed for YOU, for US
May we never forget
Last year I was one of the college student leaders at my church in college and as such I got to help with Communion services (among other things of course). I held the cup and with each person that came I would say "The blood of Christ shed for you";
to every person who came.
People I loved
people I couldn't seem to stand
people who seemed like they would rub me the wrong way
people who seemed really cool
people I had never seen before and would never see again this side of heaven
everyone, The blood of Christ shed for you
Chris danced while waiting his turn
Patrick looked at me the wrong way
one guy took gum out of his mouth and then put it back in after chewing on the bread a minute
One girl just stood there, almost like she was waiting for me to give instructions
most peple didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but as I looked into their eyes I knew they all had a story
people would look me right in the eye while I smiled and would smile right back, with real smiles; two guys I had never seen before and who didn't really seem to fit into the overall picture of this service gave me 2 of the most sincere smiles I have ever seen.
The blood of Christ shed for you
Everyone in that service was completely different, and that's the way it should be. Why think that all Christians should fit into one certain mold? God can't be put into a box (as soon as you think you've got God figured out you've completely misses Him), how could we (who were made in His own image) be put into a box?
The blood of Christ shed for you, no matter who you are
It is said that the church (God's body, not the building) is meant to comfort the uncomfortable and to make uncomfortable those who are comfortable. I've always agreed with that statement but I had never really thought about how they both can be true for the same person at the same time; until today.
I have had the great honor and blessing to know people who I am nothing like at all, and yet they make me feel so at home. How can people be so different and have such big differences in ideas and beliefs and yet still love each other? because they've learned what the most important thing is in life, their relationship to God and their relationship to others through God. Knowing that you have at least that in common can break down all barriers, all that other stuff is what God is teaching YOU He doesn't teach all your friends the same thing at the same time.
I believe that it is possible (and should happen) for you to feel at home with people you have nothing in common with except for your love and devotion to God.
I love being in a community filled with different people who love and accept each other FOR (not in spit of ) their differences; it's comforting. But it's also uncomfortable because everyone obviously has their own view of things and eveyone thinks that they are right. It takes knowledge and wisdom to know what you believe and why and to be able to stand up for those beliefs while still showing love to those who see things differently than you. It also takes courage (especially for someone like me who doesn't like conflict) to be able to talk with people who have their own ideas; to really see why they think what they think and why you think what you think.
No matter who we are
what we look like
what side we take on issues
the blood of Christ shed for YOU, for US
May we never forget
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